These times are not normal. We must not forget that.

This last year, while trying not to become desensitized, while also trying to maintain a degree of sanity, without lapsing into depression….well, that was really tough...

Situational Depression comes and goes as my concern for my son’s (our children's) future seems to be sliding into a dystopian nightmare. For months after the new administration I couldn’t really go back to what I had been painting before. Quite honestly, I am not who I was before. I had never as an adult had this much concern for our world; our collective ability to show compassion, our capacity to care for others who may be different than ourselves, our stewardship protecting our environment/planet, and far too many other concerns to fully mention here...

After my fight response grew exhausted, my flight instinct kicked in.

On a whim, I moved my son and myself into the heart of the Rocky Mountains to a small town; population around one hundred and thirty people. I needed to get away from society... collect my thoughts, plan a future for my son, reconnect with nature…turn off the news, hike, meet new people, become clean again…

It was time to begin a new series of work.

I found myself surrounded by nature, but also, more interestingly, the remnants of a ghost town marked by collapsed marble structures, deteriorating earth movers, old defunct mines. I moved to a place that has the background of an apocalyptic world. It is a visual landscape metaphor of a civilization in decline. Perfect. And what did I find to inhabit this apocalyptic vision?

My own resilient, newly teenaged son and his bright, quirky new friends. Depression halted.

People had tried to make me feel better previously, saying that this new state of what feels like the decline of civilization won’t last. It is only a behavioral burst, the last dying gasp of many things that plague our society. It is our negative qualities screaming and kicking as they pass away….

But finally I was able to see it.

I now see that which is hopeful. I see intelligent, curious, openminded, compassionate youth. Young people that exemplify diversity, who immediately became my heroes and heroines, overcoming all the oppressive and unjust tendencies of society.

That which is hopeful, is not necessarily cool, it is not new, and it can be quite cheesy. More importantly for me, it became necessary to flesh out at this content. In my catharsis, I began to believe in a brighter future and desired to lay it bare for others. I hope that this is more than catharsis for myself. I hope it shows our youth what they intend to be. They will lift us all while we wait out the social decline of the previous system.

Going feral is a way of saying that we choose to step back from a society that has taken many ignorant turns. Choosing to escape domestication in terms of following an Authoritarian Regime. F*CK THAT. F*CK THAT. F*CK THAT.

Reconnecting with what is simple, while disconnecting with the ills of civilization that seems to sometimes have gone hateful and ignorant. Leaving behind the city and some culture to some degree, by returning to feral seems more natural at this point.

I feel we have come back to something more simplistic from which we can set out a different more diversified course.

My hope is that our children will lead from a more compassionate foundation.

If so, I feel they will lead beyond feral with compassion.

As an artist, I appreciate what writers and other creative spirits whom I admire have said about their creative process. One particular author, Marilyn Robinson, captures the essence of my creative process. To explain my “process,” I share her words below. Simply change her words, “writing” and “language” to “painting” and “art:”

Writing should always be exploratory. There shouldn’t be the assumption that you know ahead of time what you want to express. When you enter into the dance with language, you’ll begin to find that there’s something before, or behind, or more absolute than the thing you thought you wanted to express. And as you work, other kinds of meaning emerge than what you might have expected. It’s like wrestling with the angel: on the one hand, you feel constraints of what can be said, but on the other hand you feel the infinite potential. There’s nothing more interesting than language and the problem of trying to bend it to your will, which you can never quite do. You can only find what it contains, which is always a surprise.

In sum, as I work, meaning emerges that may follow or depart from my intended direction or approach. The result is unexpected. As Robinson states, it is like wrestling the angel: you are limited in what you can do, yet feel empowered by a beneficent source of power. Try as you might, using your own will and brush on canvas, you find yourself controlled, uplifted, bent, hastened, by the materials, and the tools. There is always a surprise at the end.

The cycle of life has always been of critical importance in my professional life, and it is integral to my creative life as well. As an erstwhile physician, a classically trained musician, and a visual artist, I view birth, life, and death, and the creative outlets we have and might nurture into flourishing, as aspects of our human experience to be honored and seen as the miracles they are. 

Such are the thoughts about life and creativity that fuel my artwork. I make mixed-media works, mostly paintings — at times large and ambitious, at times small and fragile, yet often in cycles and sequences — that reference the human body, cultural identities, music, society, and our presence within the environment. I choose particular palettes, materials, and processes to convey information about the layers and textures of our bodies and lives, and to pose questions about these same matters with regard to society at large, and to the ways we interact in and with the world around us. In addition, music is of such creative importance to me that it is, at least metaphorically, one of my materials.

The powerful forces and rhythms of human life resonate with me like a heartbeat, often with a metered musicality of play, joy, sadness, and healing. The rainbows of hues in nature, and the arrays of emotional experiences we navigate in life, are constant sources of inspiration for me. I am always looking for ways to creatively express and celebrate the many commonalities we share as human beings. Life is a gift, and everyone should have the right to live with freedom, dignity and respect.

I believe that the purpose of life is to love, honor, help, and heal. The universe is full of music, and we lead our lives within it as choreographies, striving to resonate and harmonize in meaningful ways.

I make art with all of this in mind, and I seek to reflect it in my work with sincerity, profundity, humility, and empathy. The values of one who takes care of others are analogous to those of one who makes visual art for viewers. Creativity guides and keeps it all in tune.